Relating Trance & Role
One of my teachers proposes that there are three aspects to our experiencing sex or erotic process.
1. Relating - e.g. looking lovingly in their eyes a la Kama Sutra
2. Trance - e.g. I just love that feeling when I got lost in my own process while we are having sex
3. Role - the hardest to get a handle on as it may be about more dominant or submissive - or more subtle tendencies which get habitually acted out - but then there is also the areas of role play - e.g leather, s&m, bondage.
The big news is we can usually track which percentage of our individual erotic process belongs in which third. Then we can have fun (or dismay) watching the match or mis-match with our partner(s).
It is also a great way to look at possible options if your relationship has got a bit….stale. Just wiggle the knobs on one or more of these aspects….
It can be tricky, so remember there is help available.